


The Calm Before

by Alphawulf



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Steven Universe: Future (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Panic Attacks, Shattering - Freeform, Spoilers for Episode: s1e16 Fragments, Takes place between the last two scenes, you know which ones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23283811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alphawulf/pseuds/Alphawulf
Summary: Laughter still bubbles out of his chest, making him feel lighter than he has in a while. He looks from above, the dust and debris still billowing up where he sent his thorny wall at Jasper.He watches and waits, expecting her to use the cover of the cloud to launch a surprise attack."What's the matter, Jasper? Scared?"
Comments: 6
Kudos: 81





	The Calm Before

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not ready for things to end in four days. I'm scared and inspired and Had to make something for these last two episodes. So: Angst! Thanks to everyone on tumblr saying how emotional that scene must've been that we were deprived of in Fragments.

Laughter still bubbles out of his chest, making him feel lighter than he has in a while. He looks from above, the dust and debris still billowing up where he sent his thorny wall at Jasper.

He watches and waits, expecting her to use the cover of the cloud to launch a surprise attack, and slowly, ever so slowly he drifts back down to earth, feet alighting like feathers on the bare dirt.

"What's the matter, Jasper? Scared?"

No movement from the crash sight - has she given up? Given up her quest for proving herself the strong, independent gem she claims she is? The thought is… disappointing, in a way Steven doesn't want to dissect right now, not when there's still a chance he can release more of this power, these pent up emotions that have been building rapidly this past week.

The dust has dissipated, mostly, and there's no sign of Jasper at all, still. He would have seen if she made a run for cover - a move he doesn't think Jasper would ever do. Did he poof her?

There's still a smile tugging at his lips, a bit of a headrush at the thought that he finally did it - beat Jasper without help, without fusion or friends, and he wonders how long it'll take for her to reform - will she take her time like Pearl? Or perhaps she'll be more like Amethyst - both are quartz soldiers, after all.

He strides confidently over to the crater he has made, searching for her gem in the rubble. It takes a minute but...

There - a flash of orange, and he drops to a knee to pick her up before something strikes him - the world around him falls away suddenly, his vision tunneled on his own hand, of the gem in his palm. It's far smaller than it should be, and his mind takes a moment to catch up with his heart, which feels like it's trying to tear its way from his chest with rapid, jarring beats.

It's a fragment, the edges too irregular, and as he glances back to the ground, he sees another glint off another shard. 

There's burning - something in his chest where his lungs should be, behind his eyes, in his brain as everything moves too fast and slow all at once. 

His fingers are clumsy, as he picks up another piece, clears away dirt and debris to uncover more that were nearly buried - and tries not to think too hard about anything that's happening. 

His forehead is against dirt as a crack of thunder sounds off from his right. When did he…?

Lifting his head reveals the reason, and he has to quickly lower it, roughly headbutting the ground as everything _swims_ , and it's then he registers the sound of his own ragged breathing - quick and uneven, gasping, and he squeezes his eyes shut tight as he focuses on… on _something_ , c'mon Steven, now's not the time! 

His hands are balled into fists, and in one he can feel a pressure, a little pain, and he makes himself think on only that, forcing his lungs to take things slower.With his other hand, he carefully pushes himself up, before looking at what he's holding once more.

A sharp edge of one of the shards is digging into his palm, blood coloring the gem in a way that just rings wrong wrong _wrong_ in his mind, and he clenches his teeth, ignoring his own shaking as he checks for… for more of Jasper, among the destruction he wrought. 

A check, pushing pieces together, and it seems he's found them all - he _hopes_ he's found them all.

His mouth is dry, but he brings his trembling hands to his mouth to kiss the gem, hoping beyond hope that something, _anything,_ will happen. 

He waits-

-and nothing does.

His fingers close around the pieces as his lungs threaten a revolt, demanding more air than he can give, and he forces himself to a stand, nearly stumbling into the hole he made.

He doesn't go pink, though he wishes he would, so he could be faster, do something for Jasper in a more timely manner, but instead he just runs, faultingly, through the ruined tracks of forest as the sky opens, pelting him with accusing rain.

He finds himself in Jasper's camp, and he can't help but detour just enough to grab his jacket, shoving his hand - and Jasper - into the pocket for safe keeping. 

He keeps running, mind screaming at him now that he _shattered_ her, he _killed_ her, and not even his healing powers can help. 

The guilt, the dwindling hope, the voice in his head accusing him of being a danger to everything he touches, they all swirl like butterflies, accusingly, filling his throat and lungs and eyes.

Home. He has to go home. The Diamond's essences - they have to work, they _have_ to, or else-

Steven shakes his head, and keeps running. 

**Author's Note:**

> HMU @whentvsfly on tumblr if you wanna chat about SUF, I'm dying.


End file.
